Now I have something to say

If you are driving a car with TX

plates F18 KWT,

stay the fuck away from me.

out of your misery

I have nothing noble, monumentous, or otherwise to blab about at this particular juncture...BUT I wanted to get away from that creepy dog entry.
I am taking off work tomorrow to do nothing but lay by the pool. My birthday present to myself...I may even go balls out and get a pedicure.
I know.
I do live on the edge.

pooch

please go to http://www.samugliestdog.com/

don't let them eat cake

I didn't even have any cake on my birthday...what I did have, however, was a chocolate mousse martini. I don't care how it sounds to you, it was simply fantastic for me. the glass was rimmed with the yummiest mousse, and filled with a heavenly knock you on your ass potion. Some old guy (certifiably old...as he was 70 something) bought me a little split of French champagne...Jack was his name. (lost his wife 4 years ago...) I thanked him there, but I'll thank him here, too...thank you Jack.

Out of the blue my friend Maribeth called to wish me a happy day. I didn't even know she knew. Worked out perfectly, as I didn't have one blessed thing planned for last night. My choice for dinner--it goes without saying-- we had raw fish. The name of the restaurant is Piranha (killer sushi) cute, huh?
I love going to that place...they know me by name; it's kinda funny....so Maribeth and I sat there drinking wine and splattering wasabi laden soy sauce all over the place...laughing, taking pictures, and even flirting with the sushi chef guys.
Then off to the bar next door for martinis...
is this boring to you?
sorry.
There's no pink ink that's very readable.
anyway...my mom came through with the best birthday card of all time (for me anyway)
there's a girl sitting in front of a little birthday cupcake with a candle in it....and it says :
All I want is peace on earth
and cute shoes.
dude, that fits me to a T.
I know it's retarded, but I went out and bought a cool frame, and hung the damned thing on my wall.
...speaking of cute shoes, my new blogfriend feetman78
has inspired me to start photographing my cute shoes. I'm not to where I know how to download off of my digital camera...but I'm workin on it (shit I can't even link people to other blogs)
As I proclaimed to Rat, yesterday, this is the Year of Daisy. (like the Chinese calendar, but different)
Long live Daisy.
Today is the first day.
Driving to work this morning, I had a really good feeling...like when you meet someone new and you flirt like crazy feeling...can't wait for him to call feeling...surprise text message feeling...first kiss feeling...you follow? Although I did spend some quality time with me this morning, I don't think that's what it is. Maybe it's because I'm meeting ME for the first time. and I like me. and I can't wait to be with me. I thought I knew myself, but I guess I really don't. and that's what this excited feeling is all about...

Here's hoping you have a great day.
love ya...and I really do mean it
No, I'm not still drunk on chocolate martinis...

xo
d.

38 and holding...

my first birthday call this morning was from the only one I refer to as my ex. it wasn't like this for the 7 years we were together-it kinda choked me up...not enough to accept free birthday sex from him, but it sure was sweet. when I told him he was my first call, he told me that that's how it should be. nothing to say to that, as we both know we'll never be together again--but it was sweeter than cake.

full moon mojo

I went to see the Wedding Crashers again last night...it's hilarious!. Went with my friend Malinda, and her boyfriend...had Vietnamese for dinner...movie at the movie tavern, and then some music at Stumpy's blues bar. I was wearing a skirt so short, that I couldn't sit properly on the bar stool. So much so, that one time, when I got up to go dance, my skirt stayed seated...which means that it was still folded, while I was upright--causing a full on view of panties...(my mother would be happy because I was both wearing underware and they were clean) Of course I fit right in with the crowd, sporting my 3 inch high flip flops . The blues bar scene is quite diverse, I must say. A real people watching adventure.
Rio is Malinda's boyfriend...he took turns dancing with us. He spun her ass all over the dancefloor...while I was resigned to just dancing "freestyle" with him.
I had no idea we'd have so much fun~ that doesn't sound all that colorful, but it really was a blast.

The moon was out in full force, too. Was beautiful, like they write about in songs.
Everyone was extremely nice to us...who knows why, but I'm not lookin' a gift moon in the mouth...

and then this afternoon, I went to the garage to get a coke out of the fridge (can't keep sodas inside...too tempting) and instead of turning the light on, I hit the button right under it...the one that opens the garage door.
I was naked.
Of course it takes a few seconds for the door to open, so nobody saw...but I was laughing so hard, I could hardly get back into the house~
It's a good life.
think I'll shower up and try to find something to do

diary of a psycho soccer mom

It never ceases to amaze me the depths that people will go to, to damage others. People really do thrive off of sucking from others, don't they? Melanie, that is YOUR juice. You do not have to share it, or turn it over unwillingly. Do NOT for one minute think that you have anything to be ashamed of.
Thank you for being an individual who is not afraid to be an actual individual. You deserve happiness, as do we all. Continue to enjoy whatever pleasures you seek out to be simple or otherwise...and know that life's joys were meant to be enjoyed, not sacrificed.
Deep breath. Peace.

Namaste~
d.

everyday is a winding road...

I realize that a shiny happy pic of me with that last post is kind of mismatched, but I was so thrilled to be able to wrap up this whole "i can't post pics" saga, I put up the first one on the disk. Now for my next trick, I will attempt to download pics from my digital camera. Wish me luck on that one...
I want you to know that Ron called me last night, and I spoke with him at length. He didn't offer any excuses for his behavior, and we didn't discuss specifics. He apologized and I accepted. I don't have any idea if the apology was genuine, but that's out of the way now. I realize that he isn't trustworthy, but for some reason, it was exactly what I needed to hear. and it came just when I needed to hear it.

Today, when I got to work, I found a sweet gift bag at my desk. It's from the woman (she is my friend, of course...a sweet preacher's wife) who is in the classroom next to mine...the card made me cry, and this is why....

You're a Special Kind of Person

It's so good to know
warm, CONSIDERATE people
who try to help others
in all that they do,
people whose lives
show the meaning
of KINDNESS.
It's so good to know
SPECIAL people like you.

and when you open it, it says:

Wishing you
the kind of birthday
you deserve...
a day that's every bit
as wonderful
as you are.

...and in the bag was a gift certificate to a Japanese restaurant, (where I can have sushi at lunch) and some wonderful shea nut body butter (that I never would have spent the money to get for myself)
If you think the universe does not pay attention to your requests, then you are not being specific.

I wish for you, today, a surprise that warms your heart~

ch ch ch changes...

No need to turn and face the strange, I just figured it was time to fill you in on some missing pieces.
Ron got me started blogging. I have known him for a little over 2 years. We were mostly fuck buddies until this past spring. I always considered him a friend of mine, and loved him as such. He was in the military and traveled, and called sometimes when he came into town. This past spring he started calling more. He told me his dark secrets and of the fear he had about Karma paying him back. I detailed my opinions about his role in this universe, and that only malicious intent would receive the paybacks he feared. I told him that good can totally kick hate's ass. I told him that unconditional love does exist, and that he had that with me. We seemed to be building on our relationship. In May, he showed up at my house, (I hadn't seen him since January) broken and sick, in need of a safe haven. I am constantly working to maintain a peaceful balance in my life, so it came as no surprise to me that he found solace in my home.
Then he told me he found out that he has cancer. In his stomach. He didn't want to do chemo or have to worry about drinking teas or making poultices on a regimented schedule. I researched stomach cancer, and the prognosis was not good.
Fuck. This was my friend. I prayed for him while he was in Iraq, and cried when i got the email that said he'd been shot, and was missing...inherently, I knew he wasn't dead. It was in my gut. I just knew he was alive. Of course he was.
He admitted that he is an addict and that he had a plan to quit. He had been praying to God for the past 10 years, to let him die, and now that he was looking his own immortality in the face, he decided on life. I told him that nothing is insurmountable. and I believe that. He blamed the addiction on the military, saying that they patched him up just to send him back out, and now that he is out (immediate disability because of the cancer) they don't patch him up anymore. He said that he wanted to be a productive member of society. To have a 9-5 job and be in a relationship. And wanted to do all of this with me.
I told him my secrets. They weren't pretty, and I had to get drunk to do it...but if he could tell me, then I could tell him.
There is so much more.
Although we slept in the same bed, we never had sex. He was sick and broken. I didn't give it a second thought.
While I was in Honduras, he decided that he loved me, and told me so, when I finally got to a phone.
We were going to take a trip together...just outside Yosemite. Camping, fishing, the whole nine yards.
Then it started to unravel.
He had joint custody of his neice--with his sister. Oops, the neice is really his daughter.
He got arrested because the computer program he purchased, mysteriously had an extra chip in the package (which he didn't put there, of course...but they do have a video of a tall guy with glasses putting something in that box)
Forged my signature, etc. and sent in a pre-approved credit card application.
A friend of mine stayed at the house with him while I was gone, and Ron told me that things were missing...(of course it was a set up for my homecoming)
When I got home from being gone a month, I barely got a peck on the lips.
We watched the video of his wedding (to the woman he says is dead..)
The next morning I figured out another lie on my own. he made a bracelet out of some glass beads I had, and then said some other stuff dropped and broke and he used those too...well, my brother got me this necklace in Isreal, and pieces of it were in the bracelet. No way they could have fallen apart.

While he slept, I looked around. Another credit card that I didn't apply for( both cards charged on)Checks that he had written to himself, and signed my name to. And proof that he wasn't even in Iraq in September--so he was never shot there, or lost. He was married to his daughter's mom. He doesn't own any condo in Dallas. My computer was trashed. All parted out and inoperable. All my DVDs were gone (which he blamed on my friend) My good California wine, that I carted back here..depleted. My cordless screwdriver and socket set--gone.
Can't find my grandmother's turquoise ring, either. ( I thought my pearls were gone, but I've since found them)
My best friend talked me into calling the police. Screaming on the phone, long distance from Oklahoma...she explained over and over to me, that this just is not right. The thought never occurred to me that there was no rational explanation for all these things-that Ron had lied and stolen from me. I didn't want to call, because an accusation of this caliber could have serious reprocutions (how do you spell that?) on his life. Nevertheless, I called. They came. He offered to leave without even being asked. cool as a clam. Off he went, and there I was.
He doesn't even have cancer. Of course he never loved me.
I am still struggling with this. My patience is thin. My friend is pissed because I don't want to go innertubing with a bunch of couples (I already paid the deposit for Ron and I to go) . I don't have the money he owes me (I know I'll never see it), and I still have to pay my homeowner's and car insurance.
I know that I am worthy of good things, and even capable of loving someone else.
I just feel sad. I don't want him, obviously. I can't even begin to tell you how his deception has torn me. I don't hate, or even wonder "why me".
And on top of all that...the guy who dumped me last year, keeps calling, as does my FBI guy, and my insurance agent. NOW they want me? Ron's lies are more than I can overcome today. I can't even begin to entertain intimacy. Nor can I seem to find protection. I don't feel physically threatened, but more unable to protect my own innards. All of that, and in the same head that those thoughts run around in, I know that his betrayal--albiet severe--cannot run my life.
I have been guarded in my posts in the past, because I didn't want to tell too many of anyone else's secrets. I haven't posted much lately for obvious reasons, and also because I have entertained the idea of just dropping this blog and starting fresh someplace else. Fuck you Ron Arlt mess. Read this and think and do whatever you want with it. I do not hate him and I am not mad at him, he controls no aspect of my life. I can see his cowardice, and understand how lonely his life must be.

I'm looking forward to future candor with you all. AND I am going to hire somebody to tutor me on the photo thing.

Did you know that Namaste means "I honor the Spirit in you, which is also in me" ?

Alert the media...I have figured out how to post pictures...

hot tonight

you know, I got all dressed up and went out.
had my fave, sushi, at a new place...it was good. tried some new stuff.
talked to the people next to us.
I am wearing make-up, AND a cute skirt!
I was home by 10:15.
what a waste.

shooting star...

I just saw one as I was driving home
I'm still making wishes
How many do you think I get?

the good ole summertime...

hot days
hot nights
bright moon
sun
tan lines
strappy sandals
rest
steaks on the grill
baseball games
travel
re-juvenation
lazy mornings
no blowdrying
melonballs
boat
lake
cotton candy
tomato hopes
shooting stars
I wish I'd have thought to remember those things as I said my prayers last night. I don't think it was because summer is almost over for me, that I cried. Maybe it is, oh, I dunno.
Caught me off guard.

I AM NOT 45!

Melanie inspired me to search for my roots....

Googlism for: daisy duke
daisy duke is a rollicking good trip into the fields of bluegrass
daisy duke is explaining why she's leaving paradise 6
daisy duke is the creation of rob birchenough
daisy duke is a fox
daisy duke is da
daisy duke is below cooter 20 feet to the south
daisy duke is one of the duke clan from the old tv show the dukes of hazzard
daisy duke is da bomb
daisy duke is bo and luke's cousin
daisy duke is getting on a bit
daisy duke is preferred
daisy duke is a trio that performs bluegrass versions of non
daisy duke is the first to admit it
daisy duke is a mixture of experiences
daisy duke is hot
daisy duke is a vivacious young woman from the edge of the federated suns
daisy duke is fine
daisy duke is not a yellow lab
daisy duke is a lot hotter than i remember
daisy duke is only held against her will put in peril maybe alert
daisy duke is
daisy duke is wearing a very tight top and very short skirt and is riding on the top of the general lee
daisy duke is no longer the mayor or owner of the bank
daisy duke is the most beautiful girl in hazzard county
daisy duke is such a cutie and miss mary is simply charming
daisy duke is one fine country girl
daisy duke is the only girl in the duke family and the only neice that
daisy duke is my soul mate according to that matchmaker machine i put a dollar in at ripley's believe it or not in gatlinburg
daisy duke is my soul mate according to that matchmaker machine i put a dollar in at ripley's believe it or not in
daisy duke is 45

blah blah blah

I don't have much today.
had a 0645 meeting this morning..(.not a morning person just barely glossess the surface)
tax-free weekend here in Tx...shopped for 3 hours and only came up with one pair of capris(why do we refer to pant clothing as "pair"?)
had a much needed massage (but had prickly legs since I had to get up at the ass crack of dawn)
worked a job for a friend (I am such a sucker...I committed to her for 2 months--and I'm about to start back to work, Monday)
oooohhh...and it poured rain this afternoon
another letter from fucking washington mutual about my fucked up bank account...(thank you mr. arlt)
my friend Kate took me out for sushi and martinis.
i'm getting my honduras pics back tomorrow. I kinda wish I was still there
i wore this cute sleeveless floweredy dress that i haven't been able to get into in--oh... eight years!!
maybe i'll have a birthday party for me
did you know that papermate has developed anti-bacterial technology designed to protect the pen's surface and at the same time not exteding protection to the skin?
anyone with a crapload of airmiles that they'd be willing to donate....i'd really appreciate it
and
by the way
thank you
for your asskicking support the past couple o' weeks.
i appreciate you~
(don't stop, though...I'll keep appreciating it, I swear!!)

be not afraid...

and I am not.

I am also not about hatred.
or harm.
It is not my place to judge anyone.
I only put the facts out there.
My friends are loyal, highly intelligent individuals, perfectly capable of forming their own opinions.
I am no better than anyone else,
but I can choose to take the high road.
Everyone makes mistakes.
Everyone deserves love.
Everyone deserves happiness.
My purpose on this earth...well, I haven't figured it all the way out--
but I know my job is not to deny anyone life, love, or happiness.
I cannot provide life, love or happiness to everyone I meet
and must keep my place when I offer it and am refused.
I will not compromise my place ever again.
I promise me.
I know that everyone includes me.
and to an extent, I already have life, love and happiness.
I deserve it.
and more.
the world is still my oyster~
and yours, too.

@gmail.com

r. a
(or at least that's the identity that he has now...funny that he couldn't even produce a birth certificate to get a driver's license)
33 yoa
w/m
6'3"
185lbs
br/bl
shaved hair
goatee
sometimes wears glasses
asian lettering tattooed in inner right biceps
Oakley O tattooed on left shoulder blade
some skull with feather thingy tattooed on left chest area

here's a brief synopsis:
lied about military involvement
faked flashback nightmares
lied about dead wife
niece is really his daughter
lied about the mother of that child
lied about homeownership
lied about money
forged my signature and opened credit cards in my name, and charged on them
wrote checks to himself, forged my signature, and then cashed them
trashed my house
cut up jewelry that my brother and dad gave me
ripped my computer apart
stole all my dvds, pearls, gold, various tools, various paperwork (including the title to my house)
threw away my mail
didn't fix anything
killed my lawn
took my money
basically told me lies to make me feel sorry for him, so that he could support his drug habit.

I didn't just meet him the other day, either. I've known this guy for 2 years...all those things happened in about 8 weeks. most of them took place while I was out of the country helping indigent people. my homecoming involved uncovering all of this.
do you know he actually had the audacity to request that i send him a freaking necktie and some computer drives? seems that there are important documents, and irreplaceable pics there.
why do you think he thinks it's ok to ever contact me again...with anything less than humble apologies and a roll of cash in hand? surely, he cannot think that i will fall prey to his antisocial personality disorder again--or that i am afraid of anything that he says or does...
(and don't call me shirley!)